Or How to Learn Languages and Reclaim Your Confidence
If you want to learn languages with confidence, you need to avoid surrounding yourself with people and communities who say things like:
“Why did you choose French? No one speaks it here.”
“Japanese? Why? Just to watch cartoons?”
“You should’ve just learned Spanish. No one needs to learn THAT language.”
I see way too much of this on and offline, and honestly, it can be so discouraging.
You find the confidence to learn languages and to share your language learning journey with another person…
… Only to have them tell you that you’re wasting your time, your efforts aren’t worth it, and you should just stop…
I don’t want another person giving up on their language studies because someone made you feel like you’re time wasn’t worth it. Like the journey wasn’t worth it.
Because honestly, any reason that pulled you on this journey is “good enough.” It’s time to learn languages with confidence!
Even as a beginner.
You don’t have to justify or explain anything to anyone. Your reasons for learning the languages on your list are valid, even if it’s for fun or because it looks or sounds cool.
You don’t need to change anything about your language learning if you don’t want to. Focus on doing what works for you, what motivates you, what drives your passions, and what YOU hope to use these languages for in your life. And if something’s not working, even if other people swear by it, change it, adjust it, or remove it.
Yes, it’s easier said than done. And yeah, sometimes we have outside pressures pushing us to pursue one that we don’t particularly enjoy.
The goal is to focus on what you CAN control, and make your journey the best it can be, on YOUR terms, one that aligns with YOU and YOUR needs.
And to learn languages with confidence, knowing that you’re going in the right direction and you’re making the progress you want to see.
All you need to do is follow these three steps:
Step 1: Stop putting other people on a pedestal. Confident language learners don’t rely on someone else to define their journey.
When you’re looking for feedback on your language learning journey, you may be unconsciously making someone else’s opinion mean more than your own. But it’s important to remember that language learning is a personal journey.
The most important thing is how YOU feel about your progress and process. Knowing that your efforts are worth it because it means something to YOU. Learning languages with confidence.
Learning languages isn’t just about learning to communicate in a language other than your native one. It’s also about learning to think it different ways, exploring beliefs and ideas that are different that your own, expanding your world view, whether you realize it or not. And it opens so many doors both personally and professionally.
So when it comes to something like learning languages, who cares what other people think?
Seriously!
You want to learn to read books in the languages you’re learning? GREAT!
You don’t actually want to speak any languages? AMAZING!
I congratulate and celebrate every single language learner, like YOU, who is out there trying to make progress and get better. All so that you can start USING what you’re learning.
And I want to remind you to stand proud of your efforts and progress.
Every single person learning languages, including YOU, is a unique, amazing individual, and you’re reasons to going on this journey is good enough.
So instead of hoping someone else “approves” of what you’re doing, make sure YOU approve of your language learning vision.
Stop looking for other’ approval and start focusing on your own language learning vision.
Clarify your Guiding Principles. Identify your learning style ratios. Brainstorm your specific milestones. Create a plan that works for YOU. Track your progress. Celebrate your wins.
And stick to that plan so you can see more progress!
Step 2: Get clear on your “why” for learning languages. Confidence starts with YOU.
One of the first steps I walk all of my students through in my program is Clarifying your Guiding Principles.
This means getting clear on exactly what you want to be able to do in the languages you’re learning and why.
I have several posts about Guiding Principles, including this one here.
This work isn’t glamourous, and some might find it boring. But it is essential to creating a plan that will actually work for you and your needs as a learner.
Some questions I have my students ask themselves are:
→ What is your “Big Picture” Vision for your language studies?
→ How do you see yourself USING languages in your day-to-day life?
→ How will knowing these languages change your life?
Once you’ve clarified your “why”, you are easily able to stay on track, find motivation when you need an extra boost, and see your progress because you know you’re going in the right direction with your study journey.
And this is also a great way to find your people, who have similar Guiding Principles and share your passion for learning languages.
(If you’re ever unsure about how to know where to start with your studies and get this clarity, always start with Re-defining your expectations FIRST, which I walk through in The Fluency Framework Notion Template. I also dive even deeper into this phase in The Polyglot Project.)
Step 3: Focus on what works for YOU. Learn language with CONFIDENCE by leaning into your strengths.
Something I say a lot is that people can (and have) learned languages from using a dictionary. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what resources you use, or strategies you apply to them. If it doesn’t work for you, it’s not going to work.
Everyone learns differently, and what works amazingly well for one person may make another person want to pull their hair out and give up.
That’s why, after identifying your Guiding Principles, the next step is always figuring out what works well for you. This way, you can prioritize what DOES work, and avoid what doesn’t.
(And if you’d rather someone else help you figure out what works best for you, take my free quiz and discover your Language Learning Archetype and strengths as a language learner.)
There are so many paths to “reaching fluency” and what that looks like for you:
→ using language learning apps like Duolingo, Lingodeer, Babbel, Pimsleur, or Mango Languages
→ watching Comprehensible Input videos on YouTube, FluentU, or DIYing it using Netflix
→ listening to music in your target languages and studying the lyrics
→ reading books to improve your reading, sentence building, vocabulary, and grammar
The goal is to find strategies that you enjoy using and that help you make the progress you want to see in your studies. And so that you are able to stick to your plan and learn languages with confidence, because you know it’s working.
So that you can ultimately USE the languages you’re learning.
And if something not working for you, it’s your job to modify it or remove it entirely, so you can stop wasting your time on things that are working against you.
Language learning requires a lot of flexibility, and a willingness to try out different ideas, stick to them to see if they work, and experiment with different ways to make progress.
Because something that seems to work well in theory might not work well in practice.
So figure out what works best for you, track your progress, and refine your process as needed.
(if you’re looking for more support creating a study plan that works for you, including finding strategies and resources, I walk through that in detail in the B.E.T.A. Study Blueprint.)
Bonus Step: Embrace your language learning journey with CONFIDENCE. Know that you are right where you need to be.
Language learning isn’t a linear process. One language learning friend of mine, Rae, says this perfectly in an IG post here.
There will be ups and downs, setbacks and wins, but these are simply opportunities for growth and learning. When we learn languages with confidence, it doesn’t mean pretending you’re perfect or that you don’t make mistakes.
We don’t learn without making mistakes. We don’t learn without failing.
It’s okay to feel afraid to sound silly, say the wrong word, or stumble over your works. It happens, and as a perfectionist myself, I get it.
But it’s going to happen, and we are better off spending out time laughing at the experience and doing better next time.
Focus on what you can control, embrace the process, and enjoy your language learning journey.
Celebrate all of your wins and successes, big or small, and track those wins so you can always look back on them and remember how far you’ve come.
To recap:
- Stop putting other people on a pedestal and looking for feedback on whether or not you’re doing the “good enough”.
- Focus on your Guiding Principles as a way to learn languages with confidence and clarity.
- Prioritize what works best for you, even if it doesn’t work for other people.
- BONUS: Embrace your language learning journey and have FUN.
Struggling to follow these steps on your own? Check out my resources here, including the Fluency Framework Notion Template which helps you get all of those clarity steps DONE quickly so you can start creating your plan and actually learning languages.